Love, Hard Choices, and Life

[billybud]

It seems that many of us will come to a place where we have to make a forced choice. Where we like neither side of the choice and must pick one.....

I have been through that process and have, I think, come out the other side. I am somewhat calm about my decision although I do waffle daily. Like a lot of macho ( ) guys, I had never had a prostate exam because I am squeamish about the procedure. After not having my PSA checked in a few years, my PSA blood panel came back with very high scores. So the exam had to be done and I got pinged (biopsied) and the prostate is cancerous.

The good news is that the docs think that it is encapsulated and has not metastasized. Now...the choices.

...My docs recommended immediate aggressive action, surgical removal along with radiation. They reason that if the cancer gets out, it can be tough to beat. So nip it in the bud (so to speak...but it is my bud that they are nipping). My life expectancy and decent health are considerations.

...The alternatives
..........beam radiation alone...they say that the chances for metastasizing are much greater with radiation alone than with accompanying surgery.
..........seed radiation (brachytherapy)....they say that I am too advanced for this to be as effective as I need it to be.


So...what's the fuss?

Well hell! The possible side effects of prostate removal are "stick a pistol in your mouth" bad. Yep, that bad.

After the consultation, the one where they tell you about the bad things that can happen.... like erectile dysfunction and being incontinent, you rapidly say..."uh, thanks guys, mind if I get a second opinion on that?"
The second opinion was the same as the first, cause the guys read the same journals, I guess.

Now, after my mild heart problem of two years ago and stents, I am in pretty good health and have an attractive wife, and we enjoy each other's company. We also live a very active lifestyle and I can't see myself wearing adult diapers if worse comes to worse. Sooooo.

I told She Who Must Be Obeyed that I'd rather take my chances with the cancer than have the surgery. And she, being a practical straight shootin' Texas gal, set me straight about how, when one is loved, one has a responsibility to those that love you.

Next Thursday morning it is scheduled....and I chose the human scalpel not the high tech robotic surgery. I figured that I would, if I chose to take my doc's advice, take it all. Nowadays, they zip you in and out and I will be recovering in no time. And, you know what? I am fairly confident that I won't have those "stick a pistol in your mouth" side effects. My wife points to the odds as being good in my favor and points out that I would go "all in" on those favorable odds if I was playing Hold 'em. And I point out that good odds doesn't mean you want to play russian roulette even if the odds are 5-1 in your favor.

Well...we called out "all in" to the dealer and await the deal.

[Spence]

Good luck with the surgery. It is the right choice. Without surgery, it is my experience at least, that cancer is almost always deadly. Surgery gives you the best chance at life.

[WoVeU]

You made the right choice. My dad had a good nerve left and can still function. I can't remember exactly when he had his surgery...like 7 or 8 years ago. Last year he went back for targeted radiation. (Where the attack radially from around your body at different angles where the prostrate region is always getting hit.)

Now I love my dad, but he is rather soft. I never heard so much catterwalling when he was operated on. The worst for him was the cath...oh Lord he hated it! And my dad didn't watch his diet, didn't exercise (and we are talking about the most static man alive), no vitamins and minerals, and only increased his smoking! My aunt (his sister) recovered from lung much faster.

Now I am all about doing everything you can and treat it like a challenge. You fight with everything you got and do anything that adds percentiles to success. Best I can tell you is you are one notty ole board who scoops up life and has an awesome wife. (My dad was divorced...this matters.)

Fight with everything!

[Eric]

Well put, WoVeU! You don't want to take a lot of chances with that sort of stuff. Good luck Billybud!

[Derek]

Ditto, good luck with that. My dad had the same thing, surgery took care of it and has been gone for 3-4 years now.

I'll be praying for you on Thursday.

[donovan]

You have done the right thing....found out all of the options and doing where you are comfortabe. One of the major problems I see with healthcare is people that are able, do not take charge of their care. And yes, you and your family are in my prayers, my friend.

[Dossenator]

My grandfather had prostate cancer and chose surgery. Great choice for him...no side affects and he lived for many more years after the surgery. He had surgery and no radiation, etc. The cancer never showed up in other locations. He passed away a couple of years ago (about 8 or 9 years after his prostate was removed). His passing had nothing to do with cancer.

I have had a couple of great uncles have the procedure as well and they all recovered quickly and lived for many years after the surgery.

I will keep you in my prayers, and I wish you the best.

[billybud]

Home now......takes a little longer to heal than when I was in my 20's, but I'll be scooting around in no time, I hope.

[Dossenator]

Sounds like everything went well...good to see you are back home and on the computer. And Florida State had a nice win today.