College Football Jokes to Pass the Time

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Dossenator
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College Football Jokes to Pass the Time

Postby Dossenator » Fri Apr 15, 2011 8:40 pm

I will go first:

A LSU fan, an Alabama fan, and an Arkansas fan are climbing a mountain and arguing about who loves their team the most. The LSU fan insists that he is the most loyal. ''This is for LSU!'' he yells and jumps off the mountain. Not to be outdone, the Arkansas fan is next to profess his love for his team. He yells "This is for the Hogs!" and pushes the Alabama fan off the mountain. :D
"A team with something to play for is dangerous, but a team with someone to play for is unstoppable..." Arkansas OL Brey Cook quote following the death of teammate Garrett Uekman (Nov. 2011).

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Re: College Football Jokes to Pass the Time

Postby donovan » Sat Apr 16, 2011 12:44 am

Those things you call mountains on the East and Midwest.....

How are a tornado and a Hog divorce alike...you know there is going to be a trailer lost.
Statistics are the Morphine of College Football

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Re: College Football Jokes to Pass the Time

Postby donovan » Sat Apr 16, 2011 3:48 am

A FSU student walked into a bar in Tallahassee and ordered two beers. After he paid for the beers he drank one and poured the other one all over his right hand. The bartender was curious to what he was doing so he asked him, and the Seminole student replied "I'm trying to get my date drunk."
Statistics are the Morphine of College Football

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Re: College Football Jokes to Pass the Time

Postby Dossenator » Sun Apr 17, 2011 11:59 am

donovan wrote:A FSU student walked into a bar in Tallahassee and ordered two beers. After he paid for the beers he drank one and poured the other one all over his right hand. The bartender was curious to what he was doing so he asked him, and the Seminole student replied "I'm trying to get my date drunk."


Now that's funny. :lol:
"A team with something to play for is dangerous, but a team with someone to play for is unstoppable..." Arkansas OL Brey Cook quote following the death of teammate Garrett Uekman (Nov. 2011).

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Re: College Football Jokes to Pass the Time

Postby Yeofoot » Tue Apr 19, 2011 1:28 pm

Question: When a Sooner divorces his wife, is she still legally his sister?

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Re: College Football Jokes to Pass the Time

Postby Spence » Tue Apr 19, 2011 3:21 pm

Yeofoot wrote:Question: When a Sooner divorces his wife, is she still legally his sister?


Nope, his mom and his sister.
"History doesn't always repeat itself but it often rhymes." - Mark Twain

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Re: College Football Jokes to Pass the Time

Postby Derek » Tue Apr 19, 2011 6:47 pm

A Georgia fan was driving down a country road when he came upon two Florida football players hitch-hiking and told them to jump in the back of his pick-up truck. He then drove down the dirt road rather fast and lost control as they were going around a curve. The truck landed in a lake.

The Georgia fan scrambled to the surface and swam to shore. When he looked back at the lake, the two Florida football players were still sitting in the bed of the truck, looking frantic.

As the truck began sinking, the Georgia fan yelled for the Florida players to get out, to which they replied, "We're trying, but we can't get the dang tailgate open!"
They’re either going to run the ball here or their going to pass it.

The fewer rules a coach has, the fewer rules there are for players to break.

See, well ya see, the thing is, he should have caught that ball. But the ball is bigger than his hands.

- John Madden

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Re: College Football Jokes to Pass the Time

Postby Derek » Tue Apr 19, 2011 6:50 pm

One day at a Gainesville elementary school, a teacher asked her class if the Florida Gators were their favorite football team. The whole class said yes, except for Jimmy.

The teacher asked, "What's your favorite football team, Jimmy?"

Little Jimmy said, "The Georgia Bulldogs."

The teacher asked, "Well, why is that?"

Little Jimmy said, "Well, my dad is a Bulldogs fan, my mom is a Bulldogs fan, so I guess that makes me a Bulldogs fan."

The teacher, angered by his reply, said, "If your dad was a moron, and your mom was an idiot, what would that make you?"

Jimmy said, "Well, I guess that would make me a Florida fan."
They’re either going to run the ball here or their going to pass it.

The fewer rules a coach has, the fewer rules there are for players to break.

See, well ya see, the thing is, he should have caught that ball. But the ball is bigger than his hands.

- John Madden

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Re: College Football Jokes to Pass the Time

Postby Derek » Tue Apr 19, 2011 6:52 pm

How do you make Seminoles cookies? ... Put them in a sugar bowl and pound them for 60 minutes.
They’re either going to run the ball here or their going to pass it.

The fewer rules a coach has, the fewer rules there are for players to break.

See, well ya see, the thing is, he should have caught that ball. But the ball is bigger than his hands.

- John Madden

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Re: College Football Jokes to Pass the Time

Postby donovan » Wed Apr 20, 2011 6:15 pm

One foggy night, a Buckeye fan was heading north from Columbus and a Michigan fan was driving south from Ann Arbor. While crossing a narrow bridge, they hit each other head-on, mangling both cars.

The Michigan fan manages to climb out of his car and survey the damage. He looks at his twisted car and says, "Man, I'm lucky to be alive!"

Likewise, the Buckeye fan gets out of his car uninjured, he too feeling fortunate to have survived.

The Wolverine fan walks over to the Buckeye fan and says, "Hey, man, I think this is a sign that we should put away our petty differences and live as friends instead of being rivals."

The Buckeye fan thinks for a moment and says, "You know, you're absolutely right! We should be friends. In fact, I'm going to see if something else survived the wreck."

The Buckeye fan then pops open his trunk and removes a full, undamaged bottle of Jack Daniel's. He says to the Wolverine, "I think this is another sign--we should toast to our newfound friendship." The Wolverine fan agrees and grabs the bottle. After sucking down half of the bottle, the Wolverine fan hands it back to the Buckeye fan and says, "Your turn!"

The Buckeye fan calmly twists the cap back on the bottle, throws the rest of the bottle over the bridge into the river and says, "Nah, I think I'll just wait for the cops to show up."
Statistics are the Morphine of College Football

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Re: College Football Jokes to Pass the Time

Postby Spence » Wed Apr 20, 2011 8:22 pm

donovan wrote:One foggy night, a Buckeye fan was heading north from Columbus and a Michigan fan was driving south from Ann Arbor. While crossing a narrow bridge, they hit each other head-on, mangling both cars.

The Michigan fan manages to climb out of his car and survey the damage. He looks at his twisted car and says, "Man, I'm lucky to be alive!"

Likewise, the Buckeye fan gets out of his car uninjured, he too feeling fortunate to have survived.

The Wolverine fan walks over to the Buckeye fan and says, "Hey, man, I think this is a sign that we should put away our petty differences and live as friends instead of being rivals."

The Buckeye fan thinks for a moment and says, "You know, you're absolutely right! We should be friends. In fact, I'm going to see if something else survived the wreck."

The Buckeye fan then pops open his trunk and removes a full, undamaged bottle of Jack Daniel's. He says to the Wolverine, "I think this is another sign--we should toast to our newfound friendship." The Wolverine fan agrees and grabs the bottle. After sucking down half of the bottle, the Wolverine fan hands it back to the Buckeye fan and says, "Your turn!"

The Buckeye fan calmly twists the cap back on the bottle, throws the rest of the bottle over the bridge into the river and says, "Nah, I think I'll just wait for the cops to show up."



That's great. It is my new favorite joke. :lol: :lol:
"History doesn't always repeat itself but it often rhymes." - Mark Twain

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Re: College Football Jokes to Pass the Time

Postby Vileborg » Fri Apr 22, 2011 10:45 am

Haha! Thats awesome.

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Re: College Football Jokes to Pass the Time

Postby Derek » Sun Apr 24, 2011 11:31 pm

Awesome.
They’re either going to run the ball here or their going to pass it.

The fewer rules a coach has, the fewer rules there are for players to break.

See, well ya see, the thing is, he should have caught that ball. But the ball is bigger than his hands.

- John Madden

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Re: College Football Jokes to Pass the Time

Postby Spence » Tue Apr 26, 2011 5:43 pm

The last good picture Bo Schembechler ever took. :D

Image
"History doesn't always repeat itself but it often rhymes." - Mark Twain

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Re: College Football Jokes to Pass the Time

Postby RazorHawk » Thu Dec 22, 2011 8:15 am

lamp wrote:hello geeks. here are the some i got while googling but not sure are they good ones or not, that will be decided by you ;)

Q: Name three football clubs that contain swear words?

A: Arsenal, * and F*****g Manchester United.


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It’s Fabio Capello’s first day as England manager and he walks into the showers and sees a large poo on the floor. He goes straight to the dressing room to confront the players and asks “who’s sh*t on the floor?”
At which point Peter Crouch sticks his hand up and says “yeah, but I’m good in the air!”

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here you can find out some more funny football jokes
Wrong futbol. Your ball is round :D
Hawkeye and Razorback fan in Florida


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