Tiger Woods

[Eric]

This story is too strange to be true. First off, how do you back into a fire hydrant? Secondly, how do you hit a tree after doing that? Thirdly, how is that caused without airbags deploying (which means the car wasn't going fast enough or it didn't hit the object fast enough, I'm not a car technician but I heard it somewhere )? Fourthly, how does this cause facial lacerations? Fifthly, how is the damage to the car so bad that your wife has to grab (ironically) a golf club to "bash" the car window out? Sixthly (is that a word?), how does all of this allow you to crawl in the street and drift in-and-out of consciousness? Seventhly, why does your wife not pull you out of the street if this is the case?

This is wayyy too fishy to make sense. Something is going on here, mostly a crazy Swedish model and a cheating husband That's my theory

[Spence]

There is a story that Tiger is trying to keep to himself. Who knows what it is.

[Derek]

They had a fight and she hit him with some clubs. That's the story anyways. Drudge had a link on it yesterday.

[WoVeU]

I am thinking (from experience).

They had a fight, and like men often do he just gets his keys and heads for hid Buick. She is all, "Oh no he didn't" as he heads to the garage and out she comes right behind him as he gets in the car. She grabbed the clubs and starts beating the car. Broke the window first...and as she was beating the front end... he nailed the gas when she got just out of the way and he zooms across the street and hit the hydrant his insurance company made the builders put in. And she goes super psycho with "him trying to run over her" (which he didn't.) So she runs across the street all hissied up and as he is getting out of the car and cursing she nails him with the club..."fourrrrr this mother^^&&**!"

She calms down when he is out for 15 minutes or so. And the raconteuring begins!

[Eric]

I am thinking (from experience).

They had a fight, and like men often do he just gets his keys and heads for hid Buick. She is all, "Oh no he didn't" as he heads to the garage and out she comes right behind him as he gets in the car. She grabbed the clubs and starts beating the car. Broke the window first...and as she was beating the front end... he nailed the gas when she got just out of the way and he zooms across the street and hit the hydrant his insurance company made the builders put in. And she goes super psycho with "him trying to run over her" (which he didn't.) So she runs across the street all hissied up and as he is getting out of the car and cursing she nails him with the club..."fourrrrr this mother^^&&**!"

She calms down when he is out for 15 minutes or so. And the raconteuring begins!

Yes! Exactly my thoughts

I thought that it was weird Wood was apologizing saying "he's only human" or something like that. Why should he apologize for being such a bad driver, supposedly? Really weird. And why is he delaying interview? That makes no sense either. I happened to catch a glimpse of that National Enquirer headline today at the grocery store, but held to my self-imposed ban on ever picking up a tabloid news magazine in protest They were right about John Edwards, though.

[WoVeU]

I happened to catch a glimpse of that National Enquirer headline today at the grocery store, but held to my self-imposed ban on ever picking up a tabloid news magazine in protest They were right about John Edwards, though.

Same ban here...I only look at the legs!

I notice my wife perks up when they show those stars all uglied up!

I will say this though. If it is like I am thinking. Then he can pay for all damages and it isn't anybody's business. When 2 people are married and it doesn't look at all like the little lady is being abused...then they are an institution and one that didn't hurt anybody. (This, given the damage is at Tiger's expense.) One of the reasons we got into so much trouble in this country is that we have our eyes, ears, and care on too many of the wrong things!!!!

[Derek]

TMZ is reporting that the Florida Highway Patrol is looking for a warrant to get his medical records from the hospital.

They know something is afoot, and are trying to make a case for assault and battery...against who I don't know.

[Dossenator]

This sheds a little light onto what might have happened that night (http://sports.yahoo.com/golf/pga/news?s ... &type=lgns). Tiger makes another statement apologizing for transgressions (I guess he is referring to an affair). Apparently, a lady named Gruber has over 300 text messages and voice mails of Tiger contacting her. She released a voice mail from 3 days before the accident...in the message Tiger is asking her to remove her name from her phone number and is afraid his wife will call her.

Pretty sure the lacerations on Tiger were not from the car accident but his wife who was fed up with his cheating. This might explain why she had a golf club so handy to knock the window out. I mean if you are so close to your house then go inside and get the extra set of keys and open the door....why bust them out with a gold club.

[Dossenator]

Wow...did you guys here what Jesper Parnevik said of Tiger Woods. Apperently he hooked Tiger up with his wife (who was a nanny for Parnevik's kids).

From the Article: (http://msn.foxsports.com/golf/story/104 ... rips-Tiger)
Parnevik said Woods, "should think a little bit more before you do stuff,'' adding, "and maybe not just do it, like Nike says.

"I feel ... sorry for Elin, since me and my wife are at fault, hooking her up with him. We probably thought he was a better guy than he is.''

In a reference to speculation that there was a domestic squabble at Woods' Isleworth home before he crashed his SUV on Nov. 27, Parnevik said, "I would probably just have to apologize to her and hope she uses the driver next time, and then the 3-iron."

[Spence]

Something tells me Jesper is going to have a talk with Tiger. Good for him.

[Dossenator]

The police asked Tiger's wife how many times she hit him. "I don't know
exactly...put me down for a 5."

Phil Mickelson contacted Tiger's wife to pick up tips on how to beat Tiger.

What's the difference between a car and a golf ball? Tiger can drive a ball
400 yards.

Tiger Woods wasn't seriously injured in the crash, but he's still below
par.

What were Tiger Woods and his wife doing out at 2:30 in the morning? They
went clubbing

Tiger Woods crashed into a fire hydrant and a tree. He couldn't decide
between a wood and an iron.

Ping just offered Elin an endorsement contract for her own set of drivers;
to be named Elin Woods..."clubs you can beat Tiger with."

Tiger just changed his nickname but still kept it in the cat family--his
new name?: Cheetah

Tiger was driving an Escalade, can he blame the accident on his caddy?

Hello, Mr. Woods. This is the On Star operator. We have detected that an
angry person has put a golf club through your window. We've called Nike.
A new club is on its way.

Who among us doesn't hear a car crash and immediately grab the closest golf
club we can find??!!

Tiger's new movie: Crouching Tiger, Hidden Hydrant.

Tiger Woods owns lots of expensive cars. Now he has a hole in one.

[Spence]

If we has a little smilie guy that shakes his head "no"; this would be the place to use it.

[Eric]

If we has a little smilie guy that shakes his head "no"; this would be the place to use it.

[Spence]

That's him.

[Dossenator]

Found those on another sports message board. They are certainly of poor taste but I did snicker when I read them. I did like the one about calling him Cheetah instead of Tiger.